Oh my god, do we have an exciting post today. Drama, intrigue, mystery, comedy. Looking for the perfect sandwich has it all!
The day started out horribly of course: 1) oversleeping 2) oversleeping, 3) oversleeping. And let me just say, I hate oversleeping. While running around at one of my jobs I managed to pick up a breakfast sandwich (this blog is not about that sandwich however.) Although, hint, want a cheap sandwich stuffed with goodies? Go to a super market, 'cause that's where I went.
Usually Ralphs sandwiches are actually pretty decent, but this woman stuffed an entire farm in between my bread. Like honestly, how can you think that putting that much on a sandwich is okay? And this coming from me, normally I'm like, more, more, more! But this is the first time I've actually said TOO MUCH. Hi Cousin Collins, back up from Liz Bennet, cause she's not interested.
But let's move on to the real sandwich. After a trip to the bank with Bacon and a lovingly judgemental look from my bank teller when he looked at my account, we decided it was time for us to find our sandwiches.
As we are both currently funemployed, well I do run my own company, but let's be real, brains and intellect will only get you so far. That manicure doesn't pay for itself you know. But we chose a place there would sure to be something alcoholic so we could
Unfortunately, Fat Dog does not have a lot of vegetarian options so we had to improvise.
The Bacon tried a chicken sandwich, sans chicken, plus veggie patty that looked delicious. Cheese, avocado, aioli, lettuce, tomato grilled to a "pretty good perfection." Veggie patty was not that good, but you know, blah blah, we can't all be amazing.
(face covered because of how amazing the Bacon looks, we wouldn't want you to freak out in awe)
I got the happy hour mini veggie burger as I was not all that hungry and it was a big pile of Meh. Sure, worth 4 dollars, but no, I would not order that again. Fat Dog, you make a delicious brunch, but I don't know about everything else. Good ambiance, good drink selection, AND parking!!! Why can't your food be as good as that?!?! Fail
(Sassy not pictured because of how awesome her appearance was)
Mid-conversation about how awesome our life is, I was minding my own business, launching into a new topic, "And then I went to- Oh my god, that's my ex boyfriend." There he was, all 5'5 of him, the main squeeze. (for reference, please see my first blog 'Bye Bye Cheese')
Now, why is it you never run into the people you never want to run into when you look and feel fabulous?? Oh, and of course, he and his friend were seated outside right next to the front door so there was no escape. Normally, I would have sashed right past him in my high heels, but in my rugged boots, eye makeup smeared face and 1985 oversized shirt, the last thing I wanted to do was have an awkward conversation with someone who dumped me on Valentine's Day.
After another drink (or two) and a hail Mary that real Boyfriend is an amazing, caring, funny human being who takes me out to dinner on VDay and not out to pasture, we decided to suck it up and go. But much to our prolonged plan, MS left and dignity was not lost.
So, remember this boys and girls, don't leave the house looking like sh*t because the second those baggy pants are buttoned on, your ex-boss/boyfriend/friend/coworker/creepyfamilymember will be there right behind you in line for a sourdough press add avocado.
As it stands, our current list of ranking goes as such:
1. Simple Things
2. Birds
3. Fat Dog
Perfect sandwich, yet to be found, perfect boyfriend, well I found one pretty close, perfect ex, as likely as a unicorn floating down sunset blvd while playing the flute.
Mr. Darcy Sandwich, you've got to be out there somewhere.....
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