Birds

Look, I know this is a sandwich blog, but can we talk about how amazing the show Frasier is? Because Frasier is the shit. That's it, that's all I've got. Especially considering that while the Bacon and I are being SUPER productive in looking for steady employment while simultaneously marathoning every episode of Frasier that netflix provides us. Yeah guys, we're real busy, so don't even think about calling us to hang out, we've got a full schedule.

Speaking of our freaking busy schedule, we were so busy we put off getting food until late in the afternoon. Lucky for us we were on the way to an improv show of Sammi's right next to a restaurant on the list! (oooHhh La la!)

But let's discuss how when your a restaurant/establishment and you list SANDWICHES on your menu, you should make sure there are actual sandwiches. Like, why would you list that you have a sandwich, when you don't actually have a sandwich? You might as well be Mr. Wickham, parading around as though you own the world when really you're saddled up with a kid and not so secretly attracted to 16 year olds. Which leads us to....

Birds.

Now usually when you say "I'm going to Birds," it's just a euphemism for "I've got a variety pack of Trojan's in my purse and I plan to use two of them tonight." But contrary to what 'meat' Birds provides after 11PM on weekends, I've heard they actually serve food during the daylight. So to Birds we went after Sammi's UCB show, and we went hungry.

Besides the unavoidable flashback of many a bad date in this place, I went in with a relative open mind and ready to eat a sandwich. And for the record, when we talk about sandwiches, we're encompassing all things between flour substances, wraps, burgers, as long as there's some bread around it. We're trying it. (That's what she said?)

But even with my remarkably open mind I was shocked when I saw their "sandwich" portion of the menu didn't even have any freaking sandwiches!! I mean what is this?! Don't tell me you've got a one bedroom when you really live with your parents.

Regardless of their outright menu lie, the Bacon and I did the best we could. She got herself a veggie burger and in her words it tasted, "quite good."  Direct quote, "It reminded me of a burger instead of assorted vegetables." So, good for you Birds, you win this round.

Next round, let's talk about my mexican wrap. Here's the secret vegetarian's, ask to substitute a veggie patty on your meat sandwich. 9 times out of 10, they'll make it for you and your sandwich will taste fucking bomb. And that's exactly what I did, Mexican wrap, sub chicken with veggie crumble, some mac n'cheese on the side yes, my appetite has been satisfied, but am I jumping for joy with a food marriage proposal? No.

Don't let that smile fool you, my rating was a B-, so look, if  you're on the path for Mr. Right, you're not going to find it in the food here, and you certainly will not find it in a guy under this roof. BUT if you are looking for a Mr. I'm a douchebag Wickham, you will absolutely find him here with your side of ranch.

Out of all the places we've tried I'll put the list like this.

1. Simple Things
2. Birds

.....oh boy, can't wait to see what this looks like when it grows to 90.

Nom Town USA.