Caffe Etc

Now let's talk about BAD sandwiches. A subject that I'm really not into, but right now, all I've got it to talk about BAD sandwiches. Capitols necessary.

So, there's this cafe near right where I used to work called Caffe Etc. Let's first talk about this name. Like, what is that? caffe? Is Etc taken? Or can you not spring for Ettc? Because that makes more sense. But no, Caffe Etc it is.

So I find myself back at this hollywood spot for a meeting, and think, hey, it's on the list, I might as well blog about it? And for some reason I remember looking back on the food we ordered from this place and thinking, wow this is freaking delicious. Maybe it's because I always got breakfast or a salad, but today I went for one of the things they're "famous" for which is a sandwich.

Now, let's just say, this sandwich reminded me of that relationship I had junior year of college with some frat guy named David. I don't know how I ended up in it, I don't know how it lasted so long but I sure remember how it ended. I called him up and said "hey, i'm going to marry my best friend on facebook." then my phone "broke" two days later, I lost all my numbers and never spoke to him again. That's how I feel about this sandwich.

I got a sundried tomato, basil, pesto and  mozzarella sandwich. It might as well have been a serving of sundried tomato with a side of everything else, because I had to pick out a freaking farm of sundried tomatos off of my bread. And then lets talk about their sides, through some lettuce bits next to your 8 tomatos (sundried) and through a sprinkling of dressing on it. Sorry, does my disdain shine through?

Mr. Darcy, you are far to be found from this cafe. I wouldn't even get you the category of a Mr. Collins because at least he made Charlotte Lucas happy. Is their a category for Mrs. Bennet's first suitor? Cause I think this cafe would be his brother.

Their coffee tasted pretty good to me, their service was friendly, so you know, you don't get a D- but just because you're super sweet doesn't give you a passing grade.

So let's so where this one ranks shall we:


1. All About the Bread
2. Greenblatts
3. Veggie Grill
4. Simple Things
5. Birds
6. Fat Dog
7. Caffe Etc.

Greenblatts

Perfect sandwich....where are you? 

A question I find myself asking every day around the times of 1130AM-1PM...and then again around 430-7PM....and then again at 11PM-1AM.....

As I think back on all the sandwiches I've had over the years, I can't help but wonder how it all began. You'd think that my parents were fantastic sandwich makers, but no. I hated the sandwiches they packed in my elementary school lunches. I would say, I like ham and mayo, and then for six months, all I'd get was the same ham and mayo sandwich. Disregard that prior to that I said I liked Turkey, or swiss cheese. And then there's the even bigger question, why didn't I have the courage as a 7 year old to say, enough is enough! I'm sick of this ham and mayo sandwich!! I want to live large and try roast beef!!

I do remember the first sandwich that made me happy. It was from a sub shop in Arlington, VA called Little King. Man, I killed for those sandwiches. On a very lucky Saturday after a soccer game we would stop there, and I'd order my delicious treat. Fresh wheat bread, ham, shredded lettuce, tomato and extra mayonaise thank you very much, side of sour cream and onion chips with a sprite. Oh dear lord, that made me happy. Once after we played two soccer games in a row I lived large and ordered a footlong....man was I disappointed when I couldn't finish. it. 

But now I'm older, perhaps wiser, and I've acquired the skill to finish a footlong in one sitting. You'd think by now I'd have found my Mr. Darcy Sandwich. Nope. Still looking, hoping that one day I will find that sandwich that brings me as much joy as Little King did.

On another note, you ever want a delicious sandwich in Arlington, VA. Go to the Italian Store. Holy God. 

Alas now,  I find myself single again. No Mr. Darcy in bread or human form. But, that doesn't matter. Everyone falls for Mr. Wickham, once, twice...sometimes six times. I once had a very wise ex-boyfriend say, How do you know your favorite sandwich is Peanut Butter & Jelly, if you haven't gone out and tried the other ones? Yes, he did use that exact sandwich metaphor. Yes, I was madly in love with him. And no, we didn't work out because I had the bright idea to go out and try other sandwiches. If only I could go back to my 17 year old self and say, STICK WITH PB & J. IT'S SIMPLE, DELICIOUS, AND ALWAYS GETS THE JOB DONE. 

But now the quest continues for that perfect sandwich, which was the conundrum I found myself in last Sunday night. 

A bit blue from yet another break up, I had little motivation to go out and get a sandwich. How can I make a perfect masterpiece come to me? The Bacon had no idea. Eat24.com had no idea. And I found myself about to resign to Thai food when it occurred to me. I'm not going to let another Mr. Wickham rob me of my dream! I still believe that my Mr. Darcy sandwich is out there, vegetarian, hopefully organic, and delicious. So I pulled up my bootstraps and ventured .25 miles down to Greenblatts. 

Let's talk about Greenblatt's for a minute, because it's THE BOMB.

Greenblatt's has delicious sandwiches. Fact. Greenblatt's has delicious everything. Fact. Jewish people get it right with noms. Fact.

Seriously, anything you get at this place is to die for. I can only vouch for the vegetarian entre's, but from what I hear about the rest, it's fucking Bommbbbbb. Macaroni and Cheese, Matzo Ball soup, Cole Slaw, Potato Salad, Cobb Salad, Caesar Salad, Grilled Cheese, Lasagna, my mouth is salivating right now thinking of all the things I've eaten there. And of course, there's Mecca: The Potato Pancake.

Today I got the Avocado Special on sourdough. Avocado, Red Pepper, Lettuce, tomato, thousand Island dressing, throw that all together with a side of macaroni salad and make a lady say Mmmmmmm, I want to take you home. (which I did.)

I don't know what to say. This sandwich left me speechless. And that now brings me to a tough decision  Where do I rank it? A bit pricey? yes. Worth it? Yes. Sides delicious? Yes. ...Friendly customer service? Yes. Parking? Yes. Oh god, can't I find a fault?

Fine. 

Here's the ranking so far:

1. All About the Bread
2. Greenblatts
3. Veggie Grill
4. Simple Things
5. Birds
6. Fat Dog

84 to go. 

All About the Bread

I know what you're thinking. What's up with this bitch and her sandwich blog? Well look, some of us are super busy and can't blog everyday. In reality, I got a little sandwiched out if you will and had to take a break on some other cuisines. I know, can you imagine? Me. Sick of Sandwiches. I guess you really can't have to much of a good thing.

As it turns out as well, perfect boyfriend ain't actually so perfect as I find myself single once again. But this post takes place before yet another not really tragic event, so at this point I was only looking for a Mr. Darcy of sandwiches, and not in the human flesh.

Our tale today takes us to the magical land of All About the Bread.

I'm not going to lie, I knew what I was getting into. This place is f*cking DELICIOUS. Caps. Necessary.

Seriously, if you're looking for a sandwich that will make your taste buds orgasm, go here. It's a dollar or two more then the average sandwich, but for once, the price is worth it. And as a special tip from me. Get the large, eat half, then save the other for a delicious feast later.

They have an awesome selection of already contrived sandwiches along with the option of making your own with a nudge in the right direction to get "the works." Which I have got, and for the record, MMMMMMMMM.

They also have this amazing soda contraption that has literally over 30 different sodas to choose from, including diet fanta which is my FAVORITE soda under the sun. Unfortunately, this day it was out of my soda dream so I went with diet root beer. You can't win them all it seems.

Sammi and I both went for the same thing, because it is mouth watering, the burrata, sundried tomato, fresh basil, homemade pesto, tomato and roasted pepper BEAST.  

I mean look at that thing. How could you say no?? And I have no idea what they put in that bread, but I think it's crack. Seriously, the bread is just the right amount of crunchy without being too brittle, the ingredients taste fresh, dare I hope to say organic? 

Oh and lets not forget their DELICIOUS sides. They have a Mediterranean artichoke & cheese salad, a boccacini salad, a feta and cucumber salad, and the classic side I must always go for...potato salad.

LOOK AT THAT POTATO SALAD. 

Honestly, I could spend all day gushing about this perhaps Mr. Darcy title of a sandwich shop, but it's early in the game. We've still got a lot of balls to attend. Although I still am giving this contender an A+

So as we rank thus far....

1. All About the Bread
2. Veggie Grill
3. Simple Things
4. Birds
5. Fat Dog

Let the hunt continue....

Veggie Grill

Look, some of us have regular sleep patterns and some of us have what's called being wide awake while the rain trickles down outside at 2:30 in the morning. Unfortunately for my boyfriend, he suffers from the first condition and I luckily am blessed with the second which means time to catch up on my blog!!! (weeeeee!)(excuse the random bursts of words, it is 230 in the morning and I have a beautiful man sleeping next to me which means I can't actually say them outloud but instead write them) (WOOHOOO!!!)

So anyway, next on the list of my sandwich quest is...Veggie Grill.

I'd write about all the other amazing things that I did today (tuesday) but the fact of the matter is, I did what's called catching up on sleep (insomnia) and applying for social media jobs (mama needs a manicure.) Sure, running your own business is awesome, but you know what's also awesome? Buying a car, a feat I hope to accomplish as soon as someone pays me to write 140 characters or less for them on an hourly schedule.

the Bacon had already nommed her face off on chinese food, so alas, I was left to fend for myself in the cold harsh world of Los Angeles. Yes, it sure is freezing, not like my parents are in the middle of a snow storm right now or something....cause that would make my problems sure seem petty.

Here's what I like love about the veggie grill. It's all vegan, it's all delicious and it's all pretty decently priced. Sure, if it were a "normal" sandwich joint I'd want a dollar or more less for my nom, but this place has that certain "we're awesome" class that you can only find in places like there, Lemonade and Bourgeois Pig. That air of, you feel really f*cking awesome to be here don't you? You're going to name drop our little "not sit down" restaurant to your friends when you leave here today, won't you? Why, yes. Yes, I will. So I will pay 9.95 for this sandwich AND upgrade to a premium side for 2.95...hello delicious vegan Mac n'cheese, you are mine now.

Well the Bacon & I got mine to go, along with my water  Lemonade. I mean, I really don't know how that delicious homemade lemonade got in my water glass. Honestly, they should really rethink that system. Especially because it got completely refilled twice. On another note, try the lemonade, it's scrumptious.

My sandwich was the sante fe chik'n. I'd just like to add, I LOVE how veggie and vegan places try to be all cool and call it chik'n, like, we know what it is...it's uhm....soy stuff...made into chicken form....okay fine, chik'n...that makes me feel a little bit better about eating this meat textured vegan nonsense.

Let me just say...sandwich was NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

"Chik'n," avocado, onions, tomato, lettuce, spicy vegan mayo...maybe I added some real mayo onto it to. Yes. yes. regardless. The best (so far) Hands down, want a good sandwich, go here. I may only be four days in, but veggie grill, if you asked me to marry you right now, I'd say yes.

But only if I got free lemonade.

So far ranking:

1. Veggie Grill
2. Simple Things
3. Birds
4. Fat Dog

...86 to go.

Fat Dog

Oh my god, do we have an exciting post today. Drama, intrigue, mystery, comedy. Looking for the perfect sandwich has it all!

The day started out horribly of course: 1) oversleeping 2) oversleeping, 3) oversleeping. And let me just say, I hate oversleeping. While running around at one of my jobs I managed to pick up a breakfast sandwich (this blog is not about that sandwich however.) Although, hint, want a cheap sandwich stuffed with goodies? Go to a super market, 'cause that's where I went.

Usually Ralphs sandwiches are actually pretty decent, but this woman stuffed an entire farm in between my bread. Like honestly, how can you think that putting that much on a sandwich is okay? And this coming from me, normally I'm like, more, more, more! But this is the first time I've actually said TOO MUCH. Hi Cousin Collins, back up from Liz Bennet, cause she's not interested.

But let's move on to the real sandwich. After a trip to the bank with Bacon and a lovingly judgemental look from my bank teller when he looked at my account, we decided it was time for us to find our sandwiches.

As we are both currently funemployed, well I do run my own company, but let's be real, brains and intellect will only get you so far. That manicure doesn't pay for itself you know. But we chose a place there would sure to be something alcoholic so we could drown celebrate our sorrows and toast to our future, being 26, dating amazing boyfriends, our prospective careers and everything else that we could come up with to lift our spirits. On top of that we looked terrible AMAZING, as we were waiting to shower post-insanity workout, didn't give a sht and rolled out of the apartment. Huzzah Us! To Fat Dog we go!

Unfortunately, Fat Dog does not have a lot of vegetarian options so we had to improvise.

The Bacon tried a chicken sandwich, sans chicken, plus veggie patty that looked delicious. Cheese, avocado, aioli, lettuce, tomato grilled to a "pretty good perfection." Veggie patty was not that good, but you know, blah blah, we can't all be amazing.

(face covered because of how amazing the Bacon looks, we wouldn't want you to freak out in awe)

I got the happy hour mini veggie burger as I was not all that hungry and it was a big pile of Meh. Sure, worth 4 dollars, but no, I would not order that again. Fat Dog, you make a delicious brunch, but I don't know about everything else. Good ambiance, good drink selection, AND parking!!! Why can't your food be as good as that?!?! Fail

(Sassy not pictured because of how awesome her appearance was)

Mid-conversation about how awesome our life is, I was minding my own business, launching into a new topic, "And then I went to- Oh my god, that's my ex boyfriend." There he was, all 5'5 of him, the main squeeze. (for reference, please see my first blog 'Bye Bye Cheese')

Now, why is it you never run into the people you never want to run into when you look and feel fabulous?? Oh, and of course, he and his friend were seated outside right next to the front door so there was no escape. Normally, I would have sashed right past him in my high heels, but in my rugged boots, eye makeup smeared face and 1985 oversized shirt, the last thing I wanted to do was have an awkward conversation with someone who dumped me on Valentine's Day. 

After another drink (or two) and a hail Mary that real Boyfriend is an amazing, caring, funny human being who takes me out to dinner on VDay and not out to pasture, we decided to suck it up and go. But much to our prolonged plan, MS left and dignity was not lost. 

So, remember this boys and girls, don't leave the house looking like sh*t because the second those baggy pants are buttoned on, your ex-boss/boyfriend/friend/coworker/creepyfamilymember will be there right behind you in line for a sourdough press add avocado. 

As it stands, our current list of ranking goes as such:

1. Simple Things

2. Birds

3. Fat Dog

Perfect sandwich, yet to be found, perfect boyfriend, well I found one pretty close, perfect ex, as likely as a unicorn floating down sunset blvd while playing the flute. 

Mr. Darcy Sandwich, you've got to be out there somewhere.....

Birds

Look, I know this is a sandwich blog, but can we talk about how amazing the show Frasier is? Because Frasier is the shit. That's it, that's all I've got. Especially considering that while the Bacon and I are being SUPER productive in looking for steady employment while simultaneously marathoning every episode of Frasier that netflix provides us. Yeah guys, we're real busy, so don't even think about calling us to hang out, we've got a full schedule.

Speaking of our freaking busy schedule, we were so busy we put off getting food until late in the afternoon. Lucky for us we were on the way to an improv show of Sammi's right next to a restaurant on the list! (oooHhh La la!)

But let's discuss how when your a restaurant/establishment and you list SANDWICHES on your menu, you should make sure there are actual sandwiches. Like, why would you list that you have a sandwich, when you don't actually have a sandwich? You might as well be Mr. Wickham, parading around as though you own the world when really you're saddled up with a kid and not so secretly attracted to 16 year olds. Which leads us to....

Birds.

Now usually when you say "I'm going to Birds," it's just a euphemism for "I've got a variety pack of Trojan's in my purse and I plan to use two of them tonight." But contrary to what 'meat' Birds provides after 11PM on weekends, I've heard they actually serve food during the daylight. So to Birds we went after Sammi's UCB show, and we went hungry.

Besides the unavoidable flashback of many a bad date in this place, I went in with a relative open mind and ready to eat a sandwich. And for the record, when we talk about sandwiches, we're encompassing all things between flour substances, wraps, burgers, as long as there's some bread around it. We're trying it. (That's what she said?)

But even with my remarkably open mind I was shocked when I saw their "sandwich" portion of the menu didn't even have any freaking sandwiches!! I mean what is this?! Don't tell me you've got a one bedroom when you really live with your parents.

Regardless of their outright menu lie, the Bacon and I did the best we could. She got herself a veggie burger and in her words it tasted, "quite good."  Direct quote, "It reminded me of a burger instead of assorted vegetables." So, good for you Birds, you win this round.

Next round, let's talk about my mexican wrap. Here's the secret vegetarian's, ask to substitute a veggie patty on your meat sandwich. 9 times out of 10, they'll make it for you and your sandwich will taste fucking bomb. And that's exactly what I did, Mexican wrap, sub chicken with veggie crumble, some mac n'cheese on the side yes, my appetite has been satisfied, but am I jumping for joy with a food marriage proposal? No.

Don't let that smile fool you, my rating was a B-, so look, if  you're on the path for Mr. Right, you're not going to find it in the food here, and you certainly will not find it in a guy under this roof. BUT if you are looking for a Mr. I'm a douchebag Wickham, you will absolutely find him here with your side of ranch.

Out of all the places we've tried I'll put the list like this.

1. Simple Things
2. Birds

.....oh boy, can't wait to see what this looks like when it grows to 90.

Nom Town USA.

Simple Things

The time has come the walrus says for a new blog. I tried to be vegan...then I tried to be vegan again, and let's be honest, it was an epic fail. There is only so many things one can give up, meat, sure, cheese, NO. So now I've started on the epic mission which is to find the perfect sandwich.

Now, I know what you must be thinking. (well actually I don't, but I'll take a stab at it.) Does the perfect sandwich really exist? I mean, one spends so much time when younger dreaming of that dashing, handsome, shockingly remarkably beast that is....the perfect sandwich. But sadly when you're older, those dreams get shattered by the cheap dim offerings of Subway, or worse...Quiznos.

Yet, now we're older, we're a bit wiser, we've had a few sandwiches around the block, if you catch my drift. Now that I'm in the latter half of my twenty's I think it's time for the perfect sandwich. I'm not asking for it to be an over achiever and you know, satisfy my parents, keep me warm during snowy winter nights, feed my cat when I'm not around, but you know, just the right proportion of mayo to the bread, lettuce to the cheese, is that really so much for a girl to ask?

And let's get even more specific (cause what girl doesn't love to do that?) I'm only looking for a sandwich with no meat, I mean....not talking in the bedroom, you can bring all the meat in there you want, as long as it's in the form of a veggie burger and I'm sitting on my bed marathoning West Wing in my Pajamas while simultaneously stuffing you into my mouth. Sorry, did you think that was an innuendo? Wash that mind out buddy, get it out of the gutter and into a bomb ass sandwich shop, cause that's what we're going to be talking about for the next 90 days.

That's right. 90.

I have found 90 sandwich restaurants in the LA area that are serving halfway decent vegetarian options and we're going to review all of them. By we I mean myself, The Bacon and Sammi. Don't worry, you'll get aquatinted with them later, but enough with the chit chat, let's get started!

-------------------------------------

For sandwich shop #1 I went to a somewhat old faithful known as Simple Things:

I only know of Simple Things from my days of being Office Manager at the ever prestigious Herro & Company. Uhmm.....Hi, you get to pick where the office eats for lunch every day? BUMMER. JK, lets go to every sandwich shop ever!

Regardless, I no longer work there but that doesn't mean the urge for this delicious mid city heaven has gone away.

So let's start at the beginning.

Ambiance. Good. Cute, kitch, fun. I would say, perfect for a mid Saturday afternoon bite after taking a hike up at runyon with the toy dogs (sorry gagged a bit, but I'll be fine.) Don't forget to order your non fat lattee!

But in all seriousness, LA blah blah aside, this place is cute and worth a check out...unless you actually want to get the dollar for your dinner, in which case, go back to quiznos.

It's delicious, but really, 13.95 for a sandwich and potato salad? Who do you think I am? A 26 year old with a salaried job? Honestly.

I went cray cray and stepped outside of my norm. Usually I order the Vegan Po' Boy which is DELICIOUS might I add, but I went for the Avocado Melt, and no I was not disappointed.

You can always tell a good sandwich by lack of need of condiments, and no, I did not need any. Although, do have to say, potato salad...not so good, stale and over priced. I'd save your money for Boston Market and get your potato fix there. 

But, let's go into details, avocado, cheese, onion, tomato....delicious bread. mmmmmmm.....

AND to spice things up, Sammi got the Veggie #2 which also looked equally delicious and from what I hear tasted such. 

Of course let's not forget the Bacon who also got the avocado melt (don't worry, next time we're all getting different noms)

On a scale of Wickham to Mr. Darcy I would give this sandwich shop a Mr. Bingley rating. Lovely on the outside, perfectly charming...although you find yourself wanting a bit more.

Maybe my true love doesn't lie here, but at least I still have hope, that somewhere in this great county....he lives on...in the form of cheese, bread and condiments. Join me in my quest, we've got 89 more days to go and so many vegetarian options to be had. Looking forward to tomorrow Nom.

-Sass